Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
