everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
