i don't like sucking hair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he thought i was a dude.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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