Porn is love you can see.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
