normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
