Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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