My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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