I'm going to jail i love you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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