when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
