He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
