Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
