god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
