I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
