seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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