So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize