So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
