You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
only you would photoshop your dick
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize