I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
