It's Friday. Sex?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
