Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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