i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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