Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
