How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
