About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
