Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
