i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
