Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
