Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize