I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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