I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
