No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
