you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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