dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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