I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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