I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
