And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
