Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
