it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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