Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
