so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
