dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
