I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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