Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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