Screwed.edu
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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