How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
