My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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