Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
