i think i have herpe
just one?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
