dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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