hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
