Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today

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(585): View more from New York

javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks

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(207): View more from Maine

Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.

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(914): View more from New York

I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT

(954): View more from Florida

I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.

(954): View more from Florida

SUPER ADULTS

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