When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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