the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
