She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
