i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So much Jack, so little girl.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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