I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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