Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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