I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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