everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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