did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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