I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His hands were made for my vagina.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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