I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
