I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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