Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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