Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
