In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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