actually, I'm a sock model
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
