I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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