This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
