We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
