well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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