I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
is that a dick in a sweater?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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