what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
