she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
