I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
