It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
