I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
