i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
