His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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