I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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