I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to sanitize my soul.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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