So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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