My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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