Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
