he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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