If that was your dad, he is hot
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
