Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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